Every class has that one bright and brilliant student who plays more than others yet emerges as one of the best. Bola was that kind of girl who played more than every other girl in the class. She was so playful to the extent that, while many of our colleagues were studying in school for exams, she would be chit-chatting or doing one irrelevant thing or the other, and by the time results were out, she would still score high marks, even higher than some of us that read like crazy.
Not just me, but many of us always wondered how she does it, and why despite her playful habit, she will still emerge as one of the brightest students in the class. As a teenager, it is no new thing that we are easily influenced by the people that surround us and we tend to implement most of the things we see others do, especially our peers doing, whether it's right or wrong. Omo, Children are just so naive! So, as a teenager, my shallow mind led me to believe that emulating Bola's playfulness might lead to my academic success.
The coming week, which was the last week for our second term exams, I didn't read or prepare for exams, and even when I got to school, I left my other friends who were reading, and joined Bola in playing. I played until the bell for the commencement of exams rang. Exams commenced, and on my chair, I felt like the floor should swallow me. Every minute, I kept taking excuses to go to the toilet, and even when I got back, I kept stretching my neck to copy from others. The most painful part was that, Bola who I played with while others were reading, was writing like she should tear the paper if possible.
I thought to myself, we played together, but why am I finding it hard to remember or write anything. Time up! The time for our exams elapsed, and I had only written my name. Omo! I did the same thing the next day, which was the last day, and last paper for my second term exams, and once again I was looking for who to copy, stretching my neck like a giraffe. This is something I have been identified for! Exams concluded, everyone was smiling and sharing their experience, including Bola who played her life out, there I was standing speechlessly like someone who was forced to swallow a bowl of Amala.
Results came, and I had "F9" in the two exams I did last. To add to my problem, one of the subjects was English, the subject I have never had anything less than a "B," and the subject my mum also teaches. So, automatically I'm meant to score higher than the rest as the daughter of an English teacher. When I got home, I was reluctant to show my mum my results, and despite knowing that I can't hide it from her for more than a day, because she has connection in my school, and my teachers will surely inform her, I still pretended like nothing happened.
That night, I slept peacefully, only to be abruptly awakened by the sound and pain of a cane landing on my buttocks around 2 am. Omo! My mom flogged me vigorously and punished me by forbidding sleep until 5 am when everyone else was waking up. "Omo! Omo!!" This phrase, a popular Nigerian slang, echoed from my lips for the next week. Not only did I regret trying to be like Bola, but I also fell sick and endured body pain due to the force of the cane.
I learned my lesson the hard way, and that experience made me realize three crucial things that changed my life:
1. No two persons, no matter how close or related, can be the same. Even twins may look alike, but their way of life, strengths, weaknesses, and character can never be the same. As a result, one should NEVER try to be like someone else, or change who they are just to fit into the lifestyle of someone else.
2. We all have flaws and bad habits that can hinder our growth and relationships. Instead of trying to fit into someone else's lifestyle, pretending to be someone we're not, or fervently hiding our flaws just to gain validation or the cheap fame, we should strive to manage, fight and if possible, overcome these habits. Replace them with good habits and implement steps from those whose lifestyles or personalities we admire.
3. No two individuals in the same class, no matter how close or intimate, can have identical learning patterns or possess the same level of intelligence. It's impossible! Just because Bola who is my roommate is a night reader doesn't mean I too will be a night reader, and just because Emmanuel passes his exams by merely listening attentively to whatever the teacher says in the class doesn't mean Ebube will be like that.
Everyone is unique and blessed in their own way. Identifying and investing in the qualities that make you or your child unique, rather than comparing them with classmates, goes a long way in shaping a bright future. Be unique, be smart, and learn to stand out from the crowd, no matter how strong their influence is. Thank you.
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DISCLAIMER: Everything in this post is not a personal experience, but a product of my creativity.
My name is Sekinah Alawiye, also known as Sakeenah'writes. I am a certified, value and purpose-driven content writer, English language enthusiast, teen coach, writing coach, skilled communicator, editor, humanitarian, public speaker, and compere.
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